As we look into the last week here in Mozambique, I find my self reflecting on many things. Most of all, on God’s goodness, and his protection and care for this team. This past week has been quite interesting on all levels, and we have continued to see God’s faithfulness despite even harder things that we could have imagined facing. I think back to the verse where God reminds us that we won’t be given more than we can handle, and as I look back on this past week, I feel that although that is true, we as a team were very close to the breaking point.
I finished the last update sharing about many things that we have been experiencing during our visit here. R. and K., the mother and small girl continued to be a big part of our week. As the team tried to treat the little girl, we saw improvements, and found that her thrush was completely healed, she appeared to be getting stronger, and her mother was starting to also seem like she was seeing hope.
The day came when we thought we should weigh K., and although I was not surprised, it was very disheartening, as the child had lost weight despite the teaching, and increased feeding that we had been implementing with the mom. I knew in the back of my mind what we were dealing with, and upon talking with Lynn, and a few others, my fears were confirmed that most likely this little one had HIV/AIDS. When I first met the mother, I had asked her if she and the baby had been tested, at which time she had shared that they had, and the results were negative. But, given being in Africa, and sometimes, things are lost in translation, after questioning her again, we found that the baby had been tested, but no results had been confirmed.
Heather and I went into town and talked with the local health officials who showed me the chart and confirmed that this little one did have AIDS/HIV. After talking with them for a while, it was also confirmed that the baby was too little to put on medications, and that they were advising that I tell the mother that the baby was going to die.
At that point, I remember asking God, how exactly does one do that? How do I look into the eyes of a hopeful mother who is doing everything she can to save her child, and tell her that there is no hope? How do I tell her that most likely she is also infected as are her other children. What words do you use to express that sort of thing? I felt like Moses, as I begged God to give me someone else to do this job, someone who could speak better than I could… But, I knew what God was asking me to do. He has not called us as people to only love the people we can save, He has asked us to love all the people, even those who are going to die. At that point, my eyes were opened to the opportunity for us to serve this family. With a heavy heart, I shared with the mother what had been determined, and the prognosis for her child. Tears streamed from all of our eyes as she looked at me and asked if her child would live. I know that the words that came out of my mouth were not from me, because my spirit was so broken, but thanks be to God that he uses even the most broken vessels. It was only through His power that I was able to make it through that conversation. We ended with a prayer in which we committed this little girl’s life into His hands, and we promised the mother that we would continue coming to see her until we left. Little did I know how much encouragement would come from such a hard situation.
The next day we returned and R., little K., and her other two children were standing by the road waiting for us. It is so strange to be running a little clinic out of a van, but so cool! As we got out, I saw that the children were holding two birds, and being the true Canadian that I am, I asked if they were going to eat them? I didn’t know what they were for? The children gave me a look of disgust, and R. chuckled, and said “ No Suzannah, they are for you. “ Then I was thinking… oh no, she wants me to eat them? Yikes! But then, she started to explain that they were two doves that they had brought for me and the team in thanks for what we had done for their family. I was honestly speechless. These two precious children, and this mother and babe standing there, blessing me???? R. prayed over the doves, and then explained that every time I saw the doves, that I should think about K., and know that wherever this baby was that she was thanking us. The tears started flowing again. As I looked at the doves, I was reminded again that although in our minds, hope seems lost in this situation, that is a wrong kind of thinking. With God, there is always hope, and always joy, even though the reality is that K. doesn’t have much longer to live. The end result of this little baby’s life is in God’s hands, and although He may call her home to be with Him, we know that his love continues for this family. That doesn’t go without saying that there have been many nights when we as a team have sat around the fire, talking, crying, and trying to figure out what God is doing. It is very difficult to understand how all of these heart-breaking things are working together for good, but we are clinging to that promise. Emotionally, this story among others has been really heavy for our team, as we all wanted to see a miracle happen and have this little one be healed and well. But, our thoughts and our ways are not always Gods ways. So, we continue to trust, knowing that God grieves along with this mother for this child, and that K. is so precious to Him.
This past week has also been busy as we continued with our immunization days. As the scale was tied into the tree, and the mothers and children started to come from miles and miles, it was so neat to see the team pull together.
I am a big fan of organized chaos, so these days are my most favorite….. babies, screaming, mothers visiting, and us in the middle trying to make sense of foreign paperwork and syringes that break if you don’t hold your tongue just the right way! What encourages me so much though, is the mothers, and even one father that I saw. They walk for miles, so that they can ensure that their children are given the best chance possible for a strong and healthy life. Then as they gather, they laugh, and spend time in fellowship, hugging and encouraging each other. The babies, on the other hand, do not appreciate being put in a sling in a tree, or the pokes that they get which is clearly communicated by the screams and the dirty looks as we give them back to their mothers. Quite a few of our team members were bathed in “holy water” as the babies showed their appreciation through urinating. Oh it makes me laugh. The team that comes from the hospital is well trained, but is always looking to learn more, and we have also learned from them. Dr De Cruz, the man who is the director of this region, smiled and told me that he had been doing this for over 20 years, and still loves it. I wondered how many of us could work in Africa, with the lack of supplies and resources, and all of the sick and dying children, and say that we still loved it? Certainly, God has given him a passion and gift for his work.
The immunization days are often very tiring for the team, but I have been so proud of them, as they pulled together, and created a system that worked very smoothly. It was a bit disheartening, but also a good lesson, at the last immunization day as we ran out of syringes.
Dr. DeCruz looked at me and asked if I had any, and knowing that I didn’t, I explained that we would have to stop. I could see this disappointment in his eyes as he turned to over 50 women and told them that there were no more supplies left and that they had walked for nothing. Flashes of the supply rooms in the hospitals in Canada went through my mind, as did memory of many times that I had wasted syringes at work. And here are all of these people, trying to do what is right for their children and we ran out of syringes? How frustrating!!! Even more so was the fact that there weren’t even any syringes at the hospital, which would be like one of us going to Calgary to the Foothill hospital, and finding that there were no supplies. I just can’t imagine. Thankfully, we were able to schedule another day for these immunizations, which was a bit of encouragement for these women as they threw their babies on their backs and started the long walk home. It is a challenge to all of us to be so thankful for the things that we have, the health care that is available, and the many blessings that we take for granted each day.
Another lesson that Africa has continued to teach our team in many ways is the importance of cherishing each moment that we have with our loved ones. As we were finishing a first aid class this week, we were called to come to the road and help. As we got near to the road my heart sank, and I instantly felt sick. One of the problems that the communities here deal with is the highway. Day and night large Semi trucks are going back and forth carting goods, but the danger is that often the people and children walk on the roads. As we came to the crowd, we heard the wailing and knew that there had been an accident. We were told that a 13 year boy had been trying to cross when a Semi-truck struck him. His body was lying in the ditch covered by a cloth and his mother was face down in the dirt wailing and wailing. My brain instantly went into ER mode, as I tried to go over and check the body, knowing that there was little that I could do, but still having some hope. As we went toward the boy, a local police officer came toward me and said that I wasn’t allowed to touch the body. As I tried to explain that I was a nurse and that maybe I could help, I was told that if I took another step I would be arrested, and although I was so angry, we stood there. It was so hard to see this boy whose heart most likely was still beating, but was dying, and to have no one touching him. Not even his mother was holding his hand….. it was such a cold place. As the highway patrol came, measured the road, and we stood there watching, still no one went to the boys body or the mother. One of the worst moments for me was seeing all of the other children gather to watch, and as they crowd stood there, my heart broke. A life is gone, a young strong boy who was most likely running to play with his friends, or doing an errand for his mother is now dead. Life, as we know it, can change in seconds, and yet we continue to take all the moments for granted. Those experiences made us all want to go home and tell our families how much we loved them. Life is such a precious thing…..that is one thing we have seen here in Africa. The teaching challenges continue regarding highway safety and many other things, as shortly after the boys’ body was loaded and taken away, again I saw the children playing on the road.
The health care challenges continued throughout the week as the clinic continued to be very busy. Challenge seems like such an understatement though as the many illnesses that we saw required much more than we could offer. We have seen many children with ruptured ear drums, infected lungs, and malaria. But even more challenging is the illnesses and injuries that we are seeing in the communities. A man with urethral problems that would require hours of surgery in Canada, a women that is going blind, and leprosy wounds that just won’t heal. All of these are challenges given the limited resources available to these people. One example that we were faced with this week demonstrated that in an incredible way.
The team was asked to go and see a Grandma that had been bathing in the river and had been attacked by a crocodile. Although this had happened months ago, there were problems with her arms and legs that were keeping the women from walking. So, the team headed into the bush with the med packs on our backs wanting to do whatever we could to help. We learned that the women had been taken to the local hospital, and the family handed us the pile of x-ray films that had been taken. African radiology means finding a spot where the sun is bright and trying to look at what is the problem. This time, it was easily to see that when the crocodile attacked the women the jaws had crushed her forearm bones. The family shared that at the hospital, while the woman was still unconscious, the doctors had inserted a piece of iron through the already open wound to try and set the bones. I asked the family if they were sure, because this sounded so unreal to me, and they continued to insist that it was done that way. Looking at the deformed arm, I could only see the scar of a very large open wound that hadn’t healed well, and it became clear that they were telling the truth. In my mind, I am unsure how that is even a possibility….. but there aren’t surgeons here to fix bones properly, so the doctors must do whatever they can. Now we were faced with the challenge of somehow helping this women regain some function of this arm, and deal with the infection that has been festering in her skin for the last month. It was so good to have our EMT’s Scott and Jeff there, who took the time to figure out how to best splint this woman’s arm so that she didn’t have to support her disabled arm with her other hand.
Sometimes, when we as a team go out to see these people, and we stand in their homes or sit on their mats, it just seems so hopeless, so futile. But, for this women, spending time cleaning her wound and giving her medications for pain was something she said she had been praying for. So again, we were taught that we may not be able to understand or comprehend what God’s plan is, but we must continue serving and loving the people that he brings to us for help. As we left that little community, hiking back into the bush and then driving the rest of the way home, the reality of the lack of health care hit me again.
Imagine in Canada, if a family member got sick, and you had to send someone to walk at least 7 kms to get help. Imagine lying on a grass mat, in the dirt with animals running around you, in the hot sun, with fever and pain, not knowing when help would come. Imagine how alone that would feel. After thinking about it that way, the hike nor drive seemed too much, we as a team were so glad to have the opportunity to hold a hand, offer some encouragement, and know that we were helping bring a little joy to a hurting woman. That is what this trip has been all about for us….. serving and loving these people as Jesus would. And as we continue to pray for Him to bring opportunities to serve, the people continue to call for help.
As a team, throughout this past week, we have encouraged each other to continue searching for the joy despite all of the heartache that we were seeing. It is easy to feel like you are drowning in all the overwhelming need, so easy to focus just on what seems like a losing battle. But, when we raise our eyes to Jesus, and seek out His face, we are filled with His peace and given the strength that we need to continue. It is so amazing to me as I look back to each hard day, because within those days, there are many aspect of pure joy that bring a smile to my face and a song to my heart. The children laughing and running as we come to school, small little hands silently grasping yours as you walk, the hushed tones of the children as they touch our hair, the kindness the women show as they brush the dirt off of our faces and clothes, it just continues and continues.
One thing that has continued to encourage me is the singing that we have heard in the schools and church. Men, women, and children all raise their voices in praise to God, despite their circumstances. What an ongoing challenge that is to me, and what a privilege it is to be here to experience it. We as a team are so humbled to have been given this opportunity, and we are so thankful for your ongoing love and support.
Blessings on you all, and much love from Africa….
Suzanne on behalf of the Mozambique team.
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